i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
