mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need water and some morals
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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