Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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