marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
