I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he tried to convert me to islam
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize