You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
