They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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