How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
