is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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