We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
