i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
