We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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