Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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