well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
