Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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