woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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