your room smells of hookers.
And success
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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