we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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