I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
