I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
