Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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