Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
