Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
