saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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