So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
