All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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