Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize