I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize