I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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