Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
