the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
