I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
