i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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