im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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