his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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