Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
