Pants 0. Shit 1.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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