Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
