The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize