she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
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Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize