Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you would pick up someone in the library
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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