I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize