Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There's always time for handjobs
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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