Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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