apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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