So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
