Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
