I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Its about making memories worth repressing
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
