Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think i have herpe
just one?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
