How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I will pee on everything he values.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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