I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
