the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
