3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
