I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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