Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize