Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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