nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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