she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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