if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
