The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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