I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
