I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
