I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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