So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
