she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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