puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize