i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
