Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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