she was so not down for the gang bang
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
