ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
