PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
